In my experience the best way to transform anger and other strong emotions is to befriend them. We also need to think of emotions as “weather patterns that simply come and go”. It is important to remember that they do not define us. They are a natural part of life.
I do know that it is not helpful to suppress anger. Our bodies can become stiff and we cannot function very well physically and cognitively. Some people can even become depressed if they supress their anger over a long period of time .I have observed anger in many people and I have noticed that if we push it away or deny it ,it can also cause unconscious aggression. We can do and say things that we later regret.
In my experience you need to find an effective technique to manage your anger. Try and find out what works best for you and stick to it! Physical exercise is always extremely helpful.
Sometimes I just find a quiet space where I am alone, and I put my hands over my mouth, and I yell. I yell to release all the anger in my body. I do not want to carry it around as I feel heavy when I do. I also know that if I carry anger for a long time, I am only hurting myself.
My favourite and most effective technique for me to manage my anger is a brilliant Mindfulness technique called RAIN: Recognize, Accept, Investigate, Non-Identification.
There are 4 steps to the RAIN technique:
The first step of the practice is to recognize the many forms that anger takes. The energy of anger can move from a slight irritation to extreme rage in just a few seconds. Anger will not just disappear if you meditate. What does happen if we meditate is that we can recognize it much faster when it arises and have the presence and take time to respond appropriately. This has helped me enormously in my relationships. I am much calmer than I used to be.
We must learn to accept not only our personal anger but also the anger in other people that surrounds us today. It is a natural human emotion that appears and disappears in all of us.
The third step is to investigate the nature of your anger. Where do you feel it in your body? What thoughts are you experiencing? What has happened to your breath when you are angry?
By investigating your anger, you notice how anger can transform into other emotions. You can also begin to understand where it came from and why it is present. You can consciously become aware of the impact it is having on your body and make a change.
When we practice non-identification, we are not attached to the stories in our heads about our anger. A simple tip is to focus on the movement of the breath as this helps us soften the reaction and move away from the story. This creates space and we can realize that we are not the anger being experienced and instead we are learning to observe it which is very empowering. Feeling and observing our emotions such as anger with a gentle curiosity and compassion is a lovely gift for yourself and the people around you. I find that when I do this, I am far less reactive. Do not forget the breath-it is such a powerful tool.
For more information on how to effectively manage emotions for health and happiness and a more balanced life, get in touch: www.mindbodyenergy.com.au or firstname.lastname@example.org